Why we yearn for a Zombie Apocalypse

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Life has become way too complicated. It has become so complicated in fact, the world seems more like a prison or a daycare center while we work our meaningless jobs for less money and longer hours, are tracked by the deep state and monitored by ever more invasive Orwellian technology, only to get old and have no savings or retirement because the government loves debasing the dollar faster than wages can increase. Thank you Illuminati!

Why can’t things slow down, so we can have more time to read a book or drink a beer by the lake contemplating our existence in the universe? Well, a zombie apocalypse is the answer to our enslaved woes. Deep down we know it, and I believe that is why our culture is so infatuated with it in our movies, TV shows, and video games. There is a growing demand to live in a simplified world where there is a lot less stress.

Think about it this way. Which world offers you more freedom? The one you are in now that feels like the Matrix giving you a prostate exam, or a zombie apocalypse where you don’t work, you don’t pay taxes, where there are no forms, documents, penalties or jail time because you were smoking an herb in the wrong imaginary box on the map.  In a zombie apocalypse you have to kill the occasional zombie sure. You might have to fight off tribal warlords with an AK from time to time that want your stuff, but isn’t that better than working at Denny’s? The IRS are warlords with guns that illegally take a cut of our earnings every April and somehow we’re okay with that, right? I’m not saying that the first year wouldn’t be tough.

For one we would have to get acclimated to the new environment. Secondly you are looking at, at least a year before any quality food yields would start to come in from the garden. But after that, look at all that freedom you would have. How would you spend your time with no boss and no government up your ass telling you what to do? Wouldn’t that time be better spent laying in a hammock between two palm trees on the beach with your AK in your lap?

I for one am taking some of that looted wine I’ve been hiding down to the lake with a fishing pole and a book. Maybe I’ll have sex with a beautiful woman during a rainstorm and afterwards have roasted squirrel. All I know is that what has been packaged to us as “freedom” through the guise of technological convenience, seems to me quite inconvenient whenever I crave some quality time or a little privacy. So maybe the shtf scenario isn’t all bad and zombies in the future will be seen as the catalyst to human liberty. Maybe a new enlightened version of ourselves emerges from a post zombie apocalyptic renaissance, where we finally can exist without soul-destroying jobs and governments run by bought and paid for politicians. You know, that rainstorm idea doesn’t want to go away now.

 

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